Perspective

Yesterday I was given perspective and I think I really needed it. There were 3 other girls at the 6am class, which we all know, never happens. I walked in really tired and really not wanting to be there. During the SWOD I was struggling to get 200 off the ground and failed 225 completely. Then I tried 65 for the thrusters and needed to scale it more still, so I did 55. I felt alright during the WOD but definitely not my best day.
As we were walking into the locker room we were telling each other good job then they both looked at me and said something like "you're really strong, I can't wait to be there [doing thrusters with more than the bar]" my response was something like "Come on a Saturday and you'll see some real strength"

After I said this I took some time and thought about what I said and when I decided to say it. I was just given an awesome compliment from some newbies and instead of saying thank you, I told them I wasn't good enough, in not so many words. Instead of telling them it's taken me 6 months to get where I'm at, which is always a work in progress. Instead of telling them, that doing a total of 55 thrusters with 35# for their first time is awesome. Instead of telling them, that as time progresses they'll find their form improving and their weight getting heavier. Instead of saying thank you. No, instead of all of this, I told them that I wasn't good enough for them to "look up to".

HOW STUPID!! Seriously, how stupid of me to react like that. I know that I'm strong, I know that I've worked my ass to get where I am, and I also know that I have something to be proud of. Yet, my initial reaction was less than stellar. I know that I look up to the other girls at the box and really use them as inspiration to push myself harder and pick up heavier weight.
I just forget that I have something to look up to. I forget that when I first started I looked up to someone similar to myself, as I got better, so did she, so I was always chasing her. I need to remember that I am someone to chase, maybe not every day, but some days people will chase me. This morning I chased Megan, I don't think she knew I was racing her, but I was.


The moral of this post is to remind myself and others that we all started at zero. Everyone was a beginner when they started doing crossfit, well maybe not everyone, but most have never attempted something like this. When I first started everything was a struggle, everything. It took me almost 3 months to get my first pullup without a band. After that, it took me another 2 months to get more than 1 at a time. There are days like yesterday where I come in, give my all, and still feel like it just wasn't good enough, which is OKAY. It's time to start remember this. Remember to be proud of yourself.