What I ate - Whole30 day 13

Today was my first day back at the box since mid-December, to say I'm a little rusty is a serious understatement! Warm up was 10-12-15 wall balls, box jumps, and lazy pushups, turns out this momma isn't jumping much these days so I did step-ups, and lazy pushups mean laying on baby girl and she doesn't like it, so I did pushups against the box. Got real warm after that so I sat around for a few minutes, turns out it was really hot for everyone, so we opened some doors and I felt so much better! 
Also, my body is still adjusting to the Whole30 so I used a trainer bar for the snatch complex we did and am pretty sure I'm going to be switching to dumbbells soon since this belly is popping out! Made it through the wod alright, slowly, but made it. Thankfully, hubby was my partner so our number wasn't too pathetic. Next week I'll go 2 days and then 3 times the week after that. I figure slowly re-introduce it and continue not to push it. Makes me happy. :)  

Pre-Workout Snack
2 hard boiled eggs 
handful of cashews

Breakfast
3 eggs
cucumber
tomato 
carrot 
sweet potato hash
macadamia nuts

Afternoon Snack 
Banana

Lunch
Crab cakes
celery
tomato
cucumber
cauliflower mash
cashews

Dinner

Lemon pepper chicken (made from this recipe)

celery

cucumber

tomato 

carrot

apple sauce

cashews

Feeling lazy today, as you can tell, most of my vegetable choices were easy to prep, not much thought involved. Hoping using the pregnancy pillow and a good night of sleep will make tomorrow better. Excited to have a long weekend with the hubbs this weekend, although he's probably going to fly on Saturday, which means a "normal" weekend for us, but he flew last weekend so it'll be nice for him either way. I'm also waiting for this "boundless energy" to show up that usually arrives between days 12-15, maybe tomorrow? 

New Beginnings

So it's been a LONG time since I've taken any time to write a new post. Part of it is because I've been so busy with moving to Mississippi, settling in, and getting pregnant, and the other part is I really don't have much to talk about, at least I didn't. In the last few months I've gotten pregnant, taken and passed my AFAA Group Fitness Certification, and in the process of starting a group fitness class in the park, and starting Monday, hubby and I will be going back to the Whole30 eating plan (until Thanksgiving that is!)

Anyways, nothing that cool to report but in the next few weeks I'll update more with our Whole30 plans and the different workouts I've done with my group. 

How I Succeeded and Failed and Succeeded, Again

So recently I have been asked, by more than a few people for advice on how to get motivated, how to lose weight, how to get fit... basically, how did I go from this 

To this... 

then to this.. 

and now, getting back to this... 

(Proof that I'm not perfect.)

Truth be told, I haven't responded to a few people yet because there is so much to say and although there are a lot of generic solutions, which are incredibly helpful, I also want to make sure that it will work for the individual. As I thought about what I'd say to each person I realized that there are solid foundations that will work for everyone. Once the solid foundations are achieved, then it's time to tailor individual plans. The foundations I try to follow, I've found work for me by trial and error. I am not a dietitian or nutritionist. I am a CrossFitter, dog mom, military wife, and dreamer, but not a dietitian or nutritionist. So here we go!! 

1. Write down everything you eat. Everything. Don't just write down "chicken & veggies", write 6oz chicken breast, 1 cup asparagus, etc. Be specific. 
2. Know what you're putting in your body. Know your caloric intake, know your protein intake, know how much water you're drinking. If you drink pop, stop. Now. Or at least cut back a lot. Drink water and lots of it. I don't care that you don't like water, find a few times a day that you can just chug a glass of water if you have to. Drink.The.Water. 
• Know what caloric, fat, protein, etc. is in anything you eat at a restaurant. This is super irritating because you will be extremely limited but you need to know what you're eating. At all times. Yes I am serious. It's a pain in the ass but it's necessary. 
3. Plan your meals. Yes. Pick a day of the week and make it your day. Sit down, take inventory of your pantry and refrigerator, then make a grocery list. Plan to cook at least 5 meals, give yourself one "freebie" night and plan for at least one night of leftovers. If you're alone, your freezer will be your best friend. Use dinner leftovers for lunch. When you get home with your groceries, spend the time to prep them for the week. If you have something you pre-make for the week, this is your day to do it. 
4. Pick your time, but pack your meals and snacks for the day. I pack my food before I go to bed. When I'm really tired, I have to force myself to do it, but it has to be done. 
5. This is a big one - Some of your friends and family will not understand. They will think they are being supportive but they'll question what you're doing. When you're really disciplined, you won't be eating french fries and burgers, or even the "healthy" salad, you'll be drinking water and eating your homemade dinner. They won't understand that you would rather eat at home because that's what you planned for. Let me be clear. THIS WILL NOT BE EASY. They'll think it's weird not indulge from time to time, but what they don't understand is they're not the only person who wants us to indulge with them. If we say yes every time someone asks us to eat that way, we're right back to square one. 
6. The scale will be your biggest enemy. Yes you will see some amazing victories on the scale but the weeks that number doesn't budge or you happen to gain a pound or two, you lose any sense of accomplishment. It's so defeating to have that happen, so if you must step on the scale, limit it. I mean it. Once a week at MOST, if you can, weigh yourself once a month. Also measure your arms, hips, waist, chest/bust, and thighs and every month redo the measurements. Take pictures. I know you don't want to right now, but do it. Take pictures once a month. Do it. You'll thank me later. Make a list of some non-scale victories (NSV) and when your scale is betraying you, focus on those. 
7. Make yourself a priority. I really, really mean this. This is one of the harder ones for me to follow because I have always put my family first. It's so much easier to take care of everyone else rather than myself, which sounds crazy, but that's how it's been for me. In the beginning I really struggled to make sure I put myself first. I had to start a new routine which meant to make sure my car was packed the night before, my lunch was together in the fridge, my workout clothes laid out in the bathroom, all I had to do was make coffee, get dressed, pee, and get out the door. It was a glorious routine. It took me a bit to find a new routine when we moved, but once I found it; perfection. 
• Make it work. I used to wake up at 4:18am every morning to get to workout by 5:30am, got home from work by 6:30pm and did it all over again the next day. Yes it sucked but I made it my priority because I am my priority. Currently I work 2 jobs, have 3 dogs, and make time to workout, because again, I am my priority. I have to be. 
8. Something that The Biggest Loser has reminded me of is, I am slowly killing myself sometimes with my food choices. I think many people fail to understand that as well. The cookies, pizza, pop, beer, alcohol, all of it, it contributes to our long term health. Rarely do people know what they're eating anymore, I am guilty of this and I'm sure most of you are as well. Do you really know what is in that chicken nugget? Do you know where your meat is coming from? Do you know anything about the processed crap you're eating? At least start to educate yourself about the food you eat. This ties in to writing down everything you eat, you'll be able to see how often you eat "crap". 
9. Find a workout/sport/activity that you enjoy. Try new things. I have always done better in a group setting, doing something team related. When I lived in Georgia I looked high and low for a boot camp that didn't cost a horrible amount of money. What I found was a new family and the best workout I ever had. I had a trainer to tell me exactly what movements to do, how many reps, and what days to be there. I had other people in the class that were stronger and faster than me, which gave me a goal. I had people in the class that pushed me, told me to pick up heavier weight, and got me to hold that plank for 3 seconds longer than I ever thought I could. For me, that was everything I needed. I learned I could do anything for 30 seconds. 
• About a year after boot camp started I found CrossFit. This has the camaraderie I love but a greater intensity, I love it. It is something that you should experience at least once. It is so hard to explain but it is one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever been part of.
10. Eat clean. What does eating clean mean? Things that are grown naturally. Eat good meat, meat that is hormone free. Eat tofu without GMO. Stay away from the inner aisle's of the grocery stores. Don't let the "healthy" aisle's fool you, fat free means additives. Pay attention to your food. 

So that's basically it. Pick and choose what works for you. Try different things. Give your trials a few weeks though. Your body will go a little crazy when you start making these changes so give it some time to adjust. Give it 2-4 weeks and see how you feel. If your change is waking up early, the second week will be the worst. Ask someone to keep you accountable, you'll be exhausted but when week 2 is over, you'll be so proud of yourself. And honestly, when you get up in the morning and workout, you have no excuse at the end of the day for not going. That's just my humble opinion. Good luck!!! 

Perspective

Yesterday I was given perspective and I think I really needed it. There were 3 other girls at the 6am class, which we all know, never happens. I walked in really tired and really not wanting to be there. During the SWOD I was struggling to get 200 off the ground and failed 225 completely. Then I tried 65 for the thrusters and needed to scale it more still, so I did 55. I felt alright during the WOD but definitely not my best day.
As we were walking into the locker room we were telling each other good job then they both looked at me and said something like "you're really strong, I can't wait to be there [doing thrusters with more than the bar]" my response was something like "Come on a Saturday and you'll see some real strength"

After I said this I took some time and thought about what I said and when I decided to say it. I was just given an awesome compliment from some newbies and instead of saying thank you, I told them I wasn't good enough, in not so many words. Instead of telling them it's taken me 6 months to get where I'm at, which is always a work in progress. Instead of telling them, that doing a total of 55 thrusters with 35# for their first time is awesome. Instead of telling them, that as time progresses they'll find their form improving and their weight getting heavier. Instead of saying thank you. No, instead of all of this, I told them that I wasn't good enough for them to "look up to".

HOW STUPID!! Seriously, how stupid of me to react like that. I know that I'm strong, I know that I've worked my ass to get where I am, and I also know that I have something to be proud of. Yet, my initial reaction was less than stellar. I know that I look up to the other girls at the box and really use them as inspiration to push myself harder and pick up heavier weight.
I just forget that I have something to look up to. I forget that when I first started I looked up to someone similar to myself, as I got better, so did she, so I was always chasing her. I need to remember that I am someone to chase, maybe not every day, but some days people will chase me. This morning I chased Megan, I don't think she knew I was racing her, but I was.


The moral of this post is to remind myself and others that we all started at zero. Everyone was a beginner when they started doing crossfit, well maybe not everyone, but most have never attempted something like this. When I first started everything was a struggle, everything. It took me almost 3 months to get my first pullup without a band. After that, it took me another 2 months to get more than 1 at a time. There are days like yesterday where I come in, give my all, and still feel like it just wasn't good enough, which is OKAY. It's time to start remember this. Remember to be proud of yourself.

Weekly Wrap Up 1/21-1/27

Monday - 

I tried to walk the dogs on Monday but failed. Well, I didn't fail, but it was just too cold for the pups. We made it about a block away from the house before we had to come home. 
Good news is that I played soccer instead and OMG it was an intense workout.

Tuesday -

Same story with the pups today, it was just too cold. We didn't even attempt to walk. 


SWOD
BS 5x5 
115#, 135#, 165#, 175#, 165#
WOD
AMRAP in 20 mins
12 Box jumps 24/20 
9 HRPU (hand release push-ups)
6 Power cleans, 135/95 scale to 85#

6rounds + 2 cleans 

Had to really focus on keeping my knees out during the SWOD. It's different. My knees have always "wiggled" back in when I stand up and now I have to think about it so much. I know that eventually it'll become second nature but it's always weird to change something after doing it a certain way for so long. 
During the WOD I felt really good. I'm finding that my conditioning is improving and that I'm wanting and willing to push myself harder than I have in a long time. 

Wednesday - 

With a continuous running clock
EMOTM for 15 mins 2 front squats  115#
Then 8 min AMRAP of 
10 Goblet squats, 70/53 26#
10 Pull-ups RX
Then 2 mins max burpees
Score is reps and weights

I scaled the goblet squats, mostly because hanging on to the 53# KB was so hard! Gotta work on that grip strength. I felt really good about this WOD as well, which makes me think that I'm getting stronger. Which means, I'm getting better. 

Thursday -

REST DAY! Well, sort of. Took the dogs for long walks, almost 5 miles. They were happy and I felt good. Nice to "relax". 

Friday -

Snatch balance
1-1-1-1-1-1-1
45#, 50#, 55#, 60#, 65#, 70#, 75#

WOD
Row 1K
then 
21-15-9
Lunges
Pull-ups
Sit-ups

Ooh! Snatch balance was tough. As the weight got heavier and I got out of my head, I started to feel comfortable with the movement. Felt pretty good going into this WOD, minus rowing. I'm terrible at it but I did alright. Lunges I can rock out no problem, pull-ups and I don't necessarily get along but I was excited for the opportunity to get better and well, I suck at sit-ups, or so I thought. Yvette actually said "Nice sit-ups Paige" and that is officially the first time any has ever said that to me. Then I tore my hands open so half way through the WOD I had to switch to ring rows. 

*Lesson here, take care of your friggin hands. This is the MOST annoying reminder ever.*

Saturday -

Saturday was a busy day. Got in a good 4-5 miles first thing in the morning, really tuckered the pups out. Moved a treadmill into the basement and shit it was heavy! It was a busy but relaxing day. 

Sunday - 

Got up early and took the pups for another walk. Man they're spoiled! Can't wait to have the treadmill upstairs so we all can use it. 

20 Min AMRAP
10 Front Squats (50% 1RM) 60#
10 Box Jumps (24)

Completed 9 rounds + 1 front squat 
I really wanted to get 10 rounds but it was exhausting! Now I have new goal to work towards. Later that evening I played soccer. What a long day! 


Now will I update this weekly? Hell no. It's taken me 3 days to write this anyways. But I thought it would be nice to write out but then I did it and I don't think I like it. I'll continue to use my notebook to write my WODs in and MapMyRun to log my dog walks. 

2013 Goals

So I haven't done this yet this year. I haven't set any goals to achieve, fitness or otherwise. I guess now is a good a time as any to make some goals...

Originally Written 1/14/13 (I will update this every few months with accomplished goals and additional goals)

1. Find a consistent weight and stick with it. I'm thinking 145 +/-

• I'm the queen of fluctuating weight, not just a couple of pounds either. We're talking swinging 20 pounds either way. Time to stop that. 

2. Continue to make the time to exercise my dogs properly

• I have 3 large rescue dogs that need exercise to be well balanced dogs and a mile a day is not enough. I have committed to walking the dogs every day, I do a total of 6 miles on average, walking & jogging. This is making things much better in the house and it is necessary for my sanity.

3. Get up the rope

• That stupid rope. 

4. Move to toe pushups exclusively

• I can do about 3 pushups on my toes in a row and if the WOD requires a large number, I usually scale to my knees. Time to get off those knees!! PERMANENTLY. 

5. Master Toe to Bars

• Those stupid things, time for consistency. 

6. Reduce my meat intake and dairy intake

• See my "going green" for an explanation regarding this. 

7. Make my bed every day 

• Doing this one thing will create a bit of structure in my life. Oddly enough. 

8. Finally begin working with a rescue 

• I've been talking about doing this for some time and really, until now, I haven't had the time to do so. I don't have a ton of free time but I'm ready. 

9. Find small ways to be more green

• Walking more. Reusing more containers. Recycling more. Educating people more. Making my own cleaning supplies, detergents, etc. Small steps. 

10. Educate yourself weekly

• Watch the news. Watch documentaries. Read blogs. Read about things you don't understand. Learn more and be better. 

11. Become a more balanced pack leader

• My dogs are my world. I don't have kids & I am a military wife. I spend a lot of time with my dogs, most days, I spend more time with them than I do my husband. For all of our sanity, I need to be better and I will be. 

So as of today, these are my 2013 goals. We'll see what happens a few months from now. I also got a physical today and will post my numbers and see how they improve with the lifestyle changes. 

Biggest Loser Made Me Do It

So I'm sitting there catching up on Biggest Loser (apparently I missed 2 episodes already, oops!) and I heard one quote that made me want to post something on Facebook regarding it. Then as I was typing about it, there goes another quote that I liked, so now this is my Biggest Loser inspired post.
I feel like this blog is all over the place, all the time, but I guess that is similar to who I am. So there I was catching up on Biggest Loser and by catching up I mean watching the only episode that I have DVR'd thus far. I had heard that a bunch of the big name crossfitters would be on, well, if that's why you're watching, don't. They weren't introduced and rarely shown and it was referred to as functional movements instead of crossfit, just annoying.
Anyyyy whoooo, so I'm really into Biggest Loser when the cast doesn't suck (aka last season) but I have never experienced Jillian. So basically I've only watched it for a season or two. Bob, you're kind of scary, like seriously scary. I was surprised to see you have tattoo sleeves but it made sense, because he's scary. Then I got to see Jillian for the first time and a big WTF came to mind. She was insane, so overly intense and all you could see is her team breaking down and by the time she realized it, I think it was too late. Then when Nathan got kicked off she cried because she didn't have anyone to respond to her awfulness anymore, not because she was going to honestly miss him. Dolvett is extremely competitive and so intense, I like it. He seems like a great motivator and I think he'd make a great life coach.
So the episode that I watch is the infamous "doctor tells you how heavy you are and the many ways it's killing you" episode. While watching this specific sentence really got to me regarding obesity

"If I told you that you were dying from lymphoma, would you take 2 hours out of your day for chemotherapy?"

This quote pretty much blew my mind, which now that I read it again, it makes so much sense. Being overweight is unhealthy and is killing you, me even. I mean honestly! There have been times in my life that I was so overweight that it was probably starting to kill me and I couldn't take 2 hours to walk or do some sort of exercise. And on top of that, take some time out to just plan out my meals for the week so I don't eat like crap on a whim. This seems so simple to me now, it seems crazy that I couldn't find time to workout and plan & cook my own food. How ridiculous.
As of late I go to the gym at least 3 times a week and no more than 6 times a week, but truth be told, it's been a long time since I've done 6 days. And I've recently added in the extra long dog walk/jog, which since Tuesday has produced between 14-15 miles and 3 more days left in this week... All this exercise is good for me, I'm just ready to put a backpack on these kids and cut some miles back and put some better focus on crossfit.
Then there was another part of the show, during Bob's "functional movements" clips, one of the contestants (I can't remember his name for the life of me, which is terrible) had some breathing problems and Bob said this

"I want you to never forget how this feels right here and right now. I don't want you ever to forget this moment. I want you to remember when you're home and under 200 pounds and think about going back to your old life..."

That is so crucial to staying healthy. It's so easy to go back to eating whatever you feel like. If it were easy to be healthy and fit, everyone would be healthy and fit, but that's not how it goes. You need something to keep you driven, something to keep you motivated, something to pick you back up when you've fallen down. Remember how you felt when your fat pants became your skinny pants? Or when you feel so crappy about how you look that you'd rather stay home alone then go out? Yea, those times, that's when you need a moment like this. A moment when you realize that you did not die, you pushed yourself harder than you have in possibly your entire life, and you survived. And tomorrow when you wake up, you'll be stronger than you were today, and huzzzaahhh! you're still alive.
You're still alive. You didn't die. You survived the workout and you know what, you'll survive today's as well. Biggest Loser is crazy for sure, these people workout all day, every day, just about, for like 6 weeks or so. I don't honestly know how many weeks they're at camp. Then they go home and many of them don't work and just focus on getting healthier until the final show. THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE. Very rarely are people afforded the time to workout like that. To be so dedicated to losing weight and getting fit, not working, and only taking care of you. That's insane. In real life we are parents, siblings, partners, husbands, wives, children, aunts, uncles, and friends, which means we aren't given a plethora of free to take care of ourselves. This however just means that you have to make time, which isn't easy, but it's doable. 
So in closing, Jillian did finally have some good input when she said this.. 

"The people that watch the show really get deeply inspired by the things that happen here, they're not inspired by me. They're inspired by the changes you make." 

This is so true. Watch the show, I dare you not to be inspired.

Goals

So back on September 10, 2012 I made a list of goals. Then again in October I made a verbal commitment of the goals I wish to achieve. Here is where I stand and my next levels of goals.

September Goals 

1. EAT BETTER! Seriously though, I need to stop gorging on dumb shit. Oooh candy bar, let's get 3... Who does that? Oooh, cupcakes, let's get 4... This is the kind of shit that I do to myself. WTF

2. Get back to 135-145. I honestly don't really care what I weigh but I would like to live my life somewhere between a 6-8 and be happy with that.

3. Get my shoulders, back, and arms toned up. I'm the Matron of Honor in my sisters wedding in May and my dress is beautiful and strapless, I'd like to show off my hard work in it.

4. I've gotten into crossfit lately and will be setting goals for this soon. Currently my goals are the following....
4a. Do pullups without any bands
4b. Do toes to bar without any bands
4c. Do all pushups on my toes
4b. I always want to set a new PR for everything but I'm pretty proud that I benched 105 today for my PR

5. Stick to working out 3-6 times a week

6. Start training for my half marathon!

7. Get the husband on track with me 100%. We had a long talk this weekend after my target breakdown. When we're home I eat so well from the moment I wake up until I get home... that's when I get myself into trouble. I won't feel like making dinner and neither will he, so we end up at our favorite mexican place or ordering pizza. Plus I cope with bad news by eating cake and drinking... Oops. I know that I'm responsible for my actions but a little support from him helps a lot.

October Goals 

8. complete a pull up, chin over bars, without any bands.
9. climb the rope
10. complete a handstand push up

So where am I now? 

1. I've had some good weeks and some bad weeks. More bad than good. We're in the middle of moving to Michigan and I'm in the process of leaving my job, so things have been insane. I need to utilize my crock pot for the next few weeks and then pack up everything else. Not having structure is a problem for me and my eating is the first thing to go. 

2. I'm fitting into all of my 8's but it's not always comfortable. This goes hand in hand with my eating. 

3. This is coming along well. I feel stronger but again, this goes hand in hand with my eating. 

4a. Extremely close to getting my chin above the bar. I feel confident that I'll be able to do this by the end of next week. 

4b. Today I officially got my first (and many more) toes to bar. Super pumped about that!! 

4c. I've got this one down for the most part. I still have days where it's really tough to keep proper forms but it's getting there! 

4d. I don't know that this is a goal really. It's just a philosophy to always strive to be better. 

5. I've been doing well with this one. I feel like it's been harder to get up every morning but I think that it has to do with the amount of stress I am feeling and the lack of proper eating this week. 

6. Since we're moving, I'm no longer doing the Princess Half. Although I'm looking for a different one in Michigan, so we'll see! 

7. Husband is on track sort of. We're both under a lot of stress leaving our jobs, packing, working with the dogs, doing house repairs, etc. Again, I need to start relying on my crock pot and just be done with it. 

8. Same is 4a. 

9. I've gotten half way up the rope but I'm feeling pretty confident that I'll get up that bad boy on Saturday! 

10. This. This. This... This one is exceptionally hard but from what I've heard, I'm close to accomplishing it. 

November Goals (continuing old goals and adding new goals)

1. Continue the struggle with eating. Eventually I'll win. 

2. Get that dang pull up

3. Climb the rope to the top

4. Complete a hand stand push up

5. Complete a muscle up (this is a long term goal but I figured I should list it) 

6. Spend more time working on form and mechanics (doubleunders)

I've had this open for more than a day, trying to find more goals that I think I should set. Since I haven't thought of anything since yesterday, this is enough for now. I'll add to these in a couple week or so. 

You Reap What You Eat

I've always struggled with my food. I love love love love anything sweet and have lots of trouble with portion control. For more than a year I've been working out at Body Evolution 3-6 times a week, that has really been the biggest consistency in my life. For a good 6 months I was pretty insane about my eating habits then I got married. Then I went on my honeymoon. Don't honeymoon if you have issues with food. Well do, but then have a plan to get back on the horse when you return. Then execute that plan! 

My summer was awful. I didn't really gain any weight until later in the summer and once I did, I cried. We got married the first week of June, honeymooned the week later. We had 3 weddings this summer, a week in DC for my husband's bone marrow donation, and a week home for a death in the family. That last trip was when I realized how destructive I had been with my health and weight. I had to buy a new pair of pants so I could have something to wear to work because most of my pants were too small once again. Walking through target, I cried. Yup, cried. I didn't cry because I was fat again, I cried because I was so disappointed in myself. It wasn't anyone else's fault but mine that this had happened. Now I was a little frustrated with my husband's lack of support, but truthfully, it is not his responsibility to keep me away from cake, beer, candy, pizza, etc. 

So when I returned home after my long summer of "vacations" (I hesitate to call all of them vacations because there was very little relaxing outside of our honeymoon) I sat down with my husband and carved out another life plan. Then I shared my thoughts with the people at my gym. Everyone says 80% diet, 20% exercise, I know it's true but this time I am the walking example of it. I exercised, burning on average 800+ calories each workout, and I was still gaining weight. I gained about 15 pounds back from my wedding day. 15 FREAKING POUNDS, that was almost half of the weight I had lost in the last year. What a waste!!

So now, it's been about a month since I've stopped traveling so much. I have made strides in what I eat daily. I've committed to eating clean (well as much as I can). I've committed to myself. I've committed to crossfit. I've committed to my gym. 
The first week I was back, I stayed close to my caloric allowances, but I was usually higher than I should have been. The second week I was better, still high on a couple of days but mostly I was good. Then I really sat down and figured out where I could cut calories and where I needed to improve. I ditched the processed protein bars and started to make my own. I ditched the peanut butter on my oatmeal/eggwhite waffles. I ditched the daily lunch out with friends and decided to cut it down to 2-3 times a week and when I do, I get a salad. And like usual, I know what I'm going to order at said restaurant before I show up. 

Now I've begun my crossfit journey. And holy shit what a journey that is!! I've been doing crossfit 5 times a week since the beginning of September and let me tell you, this is when I truly realized that I reap the benefits of my food. We were home last weekend for a wedding. Friday night we ate food at the rehearsal dinner, had drinks, and didn't get in bed until midnight. The next morning we attended a crossfit gym in Ann Arbor and OH MAN!! I was fatigued so quickly, my food, drinks, and late night, had a direct effect on how I performed in the WOD. It was pathetic. Then Monday morning I felt that my muscles fatigued so much quicker from the exhausting weekend and the lack of total clean eating. So to wrap this up, you reap the benefits of what you eat. You eat well, you can exercise to your fullest potential. You eat well, you lose weight. You eat well, you succeed in life, well maybe not, but it will probably help. 

Long Time No Post

Life life life. 
Well planning a wedding and having a life and keeping this bad boy updated has been tough. So today I decided to update it, with no real plan as to what I'm going to write about. 


I guess I'll start with some accomplishments... 

• Last week I broke into the 130s, which was awesome!!! 
• I purchased my first few size 4 pieces of clothing
• I put on my prom dress from my sophomore year prom/junior year homecoming
• Reached a new PR for my 1.5mile of 12:57

I have also decided on some new goals to get to in the next 365 days

1. obtain arms, a la, Jennifer Aniston 
2. drop another 15-20pounds (which would make a grand total between 55-60pounds) but honestly anything under 135 is amazing
3. drop my 1.5mile time to below 11 minutes (current PR is 12:57)
4. drop my 5k time to below 26 minutes (current PR is 28:18 or something)
5. complete a half marathon
6. beat Eva in abs at least once, but mostly get a nice stomach

So to get where I am right now I have done the following

Exercise

Pay attention to what I've been eating

Make my health a priority 

No seriously, that is it. Nothing complicated. 

I work out 3-7 times a week. 

I log EVERYTHING I eat, even if that includes a candy bar or cookie. 

Each weekend I sit in bed with Nick and make a meal plan for the entire week and purchase only that stuff. 

Each evening or morning I make a lunch, including snacks for the day. I also log my dinner and breakfast the night before so I know how many "extra" calories I have for the day if I am hungry but run out of food. 

Before I eat anything I look at any and all of the nutritional information, so I always know what I'm putting into my body, even if it is that candy bar. I don't starve and I don't keep myself away from just about anything as long as I stay within my tolerances. 

1300 calories a day

30g of fat

65g of protein (or more)

195g of carbs

Truthfully, the one thing that has made the biggest difference in the world, minus the LOADS of support I have from my Body Evolution family, is the fact that I have made all of this a priority. I cannot hit snooze and say "oh I'll workout tonight." or "I'll workout tomorrow" because today is tomorrow and tomorrow is yesterday. 

So I'm currently hatching my plan to run my first ever half marathon. I'm so pumped! So on that note, I will call it a night because I need sleep so I can get up and run with my animals in the morning. 

First Full Week of the Year!!!

It's weird to think that this week, 5 weeks into the year, was the first week I have been healthy enough to attend all 3 boot camp sessions. Welcome to my January 2012, it was officially my worst start to a year in a very long time, I can't remember when I had this bad of a January. Anyways, here is my pity party. Week 1 (1/2-1/8) missed Thursday work because I was sick, missed Friday boot camp due to it. Week 2 (1/9-1/15) Missed one day this week due to sickness, can't remember which day but I know it happened because Nick was home sick with me that morning as well. That Friday around 3pm I just started to feel really ill. I had felt sick a few times already this month but most of my sick days were to prevent getting really sick, I was taking the "rest when you think you're getting sick and you'll have less sick days" approach. It failed. I spent the entire weekend on the couch, resting, napping, resting, drinking fluids, and doing everything you're supposed to do when sick that I usually never EVER do, but I figured since I'd been that sick, I should really go "hard" at trying to get better. On Sunday I felt a bit better and decided if I got a good night of sleep I'd go to boot camp in the morning. Sunday evening I spent the majority of my night dealing with an upset stomach due to some not so awesome food. 
Week 3 (1/16-1/22) Missed Monday boot camp, figured that if I couldn't sleep the night before, I probably wasn't healthy enough to work out. Pretty sure my body was giving me warning signs since I slept terribly all week. Still I made it to Wednesday's camp, which was a nice mile run in the rain, followed by legs, which didn't want to work as hard as I was asking them to. That afternoon at work I realized that I had a fever, which sucked, and it continued on Thursday. So I decided to go to the doctor since my horrid cough wouldn't leave me alone. Turns out, I had bronchitis, so they gave me some weird medicine but it started to work. Then I managed to feel pretty good all weekend, which meant Nick and I deep cleaned the entire house, it was the best weekend I've had in a LONG time. Week 4 (1/23-1/29) I was prepared for a good week. I felt better, minus my awful cough, but it was better. Then came Thursday.... Seriously single handed-ley was the worst I have felt in months and months. The medicine I was on for the bronchitis gave me a bacterial infection. Which presented with flu like symptoms and my body stopped processing food. Well needless to say, my bathroom and I were good friends for the day. I did not make it to boot camp on Friday. 
Week 5 (this week 1/30-2/5) Ahhh the sweet sigh of relief... or so I thought. Monday my bacterial infection was still lingering but I made it to boot camp. Monday was tough! My shoulders were still sore on Wednesday. Monday though, was bad, had some not fun "side effects" from my bacterial infection and got some bad news about a family member and cancer. Fuck Cancer. Tuesday showed up and I slept in, I figured I haven't made it a week without falling apart that I'd take it slow. If I make it through a full week of boot camp, I can go back to 5 days a week in the gym. So Tuesday my "side effects" got worse. I decided to call the doctor and got some medicine that really sucked. Then that evening I realized that I had poison sumac on my ASS. Yes you read that correctly, in FEBRUARY, sumac is growing in our yard. I got it last year from my puppy, she just loves to play in our backyard and when it's warm Nick is really good about keeping the yard clear of it for me. We never thought that in February it'd be growing but the patch of hives on my ass, begs to differ. I know, lovely, but this is the hilarity and terrible of my month. The last day of the month, I find hives on my butt. Luckily I still have the steroid cream for them so now Nick applies it daily to my boottay. (we assume that I touched the dog, then touched my butt, and that's how it got to my butt) 
So Wednesday I made it to boot camp again, this was a record (almost) but man, my legs think I probably should have skipped. We got WORKED, just plain worked. We did a weird cardio warm up that I wasn't too fond of but it was the entire leg workout that really kicked our asses. We were in 2 groups, I now realize I was no longer in the top group, I've lost that much muscle in 5 weeks, defeating, but a new goal to work towards. We started with.. 15 deadlifts then moved to a isolated hamstring move and did 10 reps, increased weight and did 8 reps, then increased weight again and did 6 reps. Repeated this cycle 6 times then moved on to quads. For quads we did 15 squats then did the 10, 8, 6 reps cycle 6 times. Don't forget, we had about 30 punishment burpees, which was just comical because my arms were SO exhausted from Monday still. Regardless, I made it through the leg workout, defeated a bit, but I made it. 
So Friday morning comes and I'm alive, well, and kicking, and at boot camp, the first time in 2012 I've made it all 3 days. And let me tell you, after boot camp on Friday, I wasn't sure I'd be alive and kicking when I left the gym. I had my first meeting with crossfit, while it was awesome, it was HARD. We began with our cardio, 10 burpees, 20 hand release pushups (your hands had to come off the floor), 30 box jumps, 40 squats (I wasn't sure my legs would hold up), and 50 jump rope. So basically you move through this sequence as quickly as you can and Mary recorded the time. I did my first set in 4:09, beating Nick by 8 seconds or so, I was pumped. Today was back & biceps and when I thought my legs were weak, they had NOTHING on my arms. We all started with standing barbell presses, NBD... Ha! So then after our 15 presses we moved on to a station, then did 15, 10, 8 reps, increasing weight each time, unless you're me and end up on one station with just the weight of the machine and Mary spotting you because you literally have no muscle left. Regardless, by the end of the cycle we had hit 10 or 11 stations and did 10 or 11 sets of barbell presses in between the stations. So we're close to 6:30 but not close enough, we go back to the crossfit cardio and have to BEAT our first time. Really? I was so proud of my first time. I worked hard, ended first, and worked incredibly hard during the weight session and now you're telling me I need to find some gas in my already empty tank? Okay, ready go! I beat my time by almost 30 seconds and finished second. I'll take it. 
So here I am, Saturday evening, writing down the woes and challenges I've faced the last 30+ days. Here I am, happy, content, inspired, and motivated. My entire body is still sore, my legs hurt to the touch, and my arms hurt when fully extended, but I'm here and I plan to do a 3 mile walk tomorrow if the weather permits. I can honestly say that January was one of the longest, most stressful, busy, and pretty terrible months I've had in ages, personally and professionally speaking. It was just exhausting. Still, throughout all of the bad, negative, and just silly things that happened to me, I still managed to drop all of my Christmas weight and exceed my January budget by 9% and only cried about the awful, terrible, very, very, bad month 4 times. I'm pretty sure that all of those cries came between 25th & 31st. 
My take away from all of this, when someone says "it can't get any worse" it actually can and it most likely will but you can choose to let it defeat you or you can choose to keep pushing through the shit and know that it can't be awful forever. Life just doesn't work that way. I literally chose not to let it break me into a million pieces. Yes I cried from time to time because I just didn't know what else to do, but shortly there after I was able to make jokes out of my childlike immune system and move forward with my itchy butt. It wasn't easy but I'm pretty sure it was easier than giving up and moping forever because I never quit. So I will end it with this, Nick sent this to me on Wednesday and it just fit. 

‎"God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength but with your testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it" 1 Corinthians 10:13

ps i have not proof read this entry at all, i just started writing and apparently just vomited out a novel. enjoy if you can. :) 

Thank You.

Today I was able to officially announce that I am now a size 8. Previously I was in a size 10 but there was a couple months where I probably should have been in a 12. Now I've been able to wear a size 8 from time to time in the past couple of months and even got into a couple size sixes, but it was never consistent or the pants were still a little too tight. This weekend though, I went shopping and purchased 3 pairs of work pants, all in a size 8 and all but one fit wonderfully. That last pair is going to be exchanged for a size 6, I'm convinced that the pants just run big. Regardless today was a huge milestone for me, I've been working at losing this weight for months and have yet to be at a consistent weight. Today I finally feel like I've got something to show for it. (aside from the feeling I get when I check myself out or the increase in energy) But I cannot, and will not, take credit for this milestone on my own. I could not have done this without the support of the people in my life. I'd like to take today's blog posting to ramble my thank you's to those people, who honestly, have never read my blog before in their lives but they will once I post this. (I hope) 


Nicholas - When I first started waking up at 4:30am, 3 times a week, alone, it was really hard to keep it up. But Nick did everything in his power to keep me moving and helped to make my mornings easier. He took care of the dogs, dealt with me waking up so early, packed my lunches the night before, and even packed my car for me every night. He listened to be bitch about the class and took me to my 5k's to watch me cross the finish-line. He put up with me being cranky or so sore that I couldn't do a thing once I got home for the evening. He has been my #1 fan, cheerleader, and support. 


Mary - After talking about wanting to join a bootcamp for months on end, I pretty much resigned that I wouldn't find one for awhile. Then one day while out scouting for work I happened to see Body Evolution and that was pretty much all she wrote. Without Mary pushing me to work harder, lift more weights, run faster sprints, and teach me that there is no can't. Since starting bootcamp I have run two 5ks, the first one I shaved 3 minutes off of my only race time previous to that and the second one I achieved my PR of 28:something. I've also taken my 1.5 mile time down to 13:00 flat, done 18 pushups and 22 assisted pushups in a minute, and increased my strength overall. She lights a fire in me every day and I love every moment of it. (she also wants me to do a figure competition, it is now officially on my bucketlist, but do not see it happening this year) 


Rachel & Jessie - I know it seems silly but I have a great internet relationship with both of these girls. I know both of these girls from college but I can't honestly say that they were girls I spent a ton of time with while in college. We knew a lot of the same people but rarely hung out but thanks to the wonderful world of Facebook we somehow connected on the exercise front. Through this relationship we have committed to keeping each other updated on what we're doing with our fitness and it always seems that one of the girls sends me an email when I've been struggling with keeping myself in check. It's just been so nice to have them to cheer me on and to be able to cheer them on as well, they're great motivators when the girls are moving and I'm not. Plus it's really hard to type excuses out and to make them sound legit. 


My Body Evolution Babes - Eva, Jill, Tonya, Lisa... I hope I'm not forgetting anyone!! I live for these girls some days. Tonya, Tonya, Tonya... Tonya was the first BEB to push me. I don't know what day it was or what we were doing but there was one day where she just called me out when I paused. She pushed me to finish more sets than I thought I could and then to end the day she threw the SHIT out of my legs. I loved it. I loved that she challenged me, she called me out, and basically just told me to suck it up and get it done. How can I argue with that? Eva... Pushes me so much. I feel like I have a similar body type to her and I feel like I have a healthy competition with her. If I'm not sprinting fast enough, she's calling me on it. If I'm using 10's instead of 12's or 15's, she's calling me on it. If I'm tired and resting, she's calling me on it. The best part though is that she's calling me on it and saying c'mon, let's do this. Jill & Lisa - These two are pretty much a package deal. They train with Mary and come to bootcamp, they sometimes do legs two days in a row, which I wouldn't wish on worst enemy. But these ladies do it and then come to bootcamp. Lisa knows how to make sure that I'm not slacking, she's so sly about it too. "You sure that's enough weight?" as Mary walks by... Damnit Lisa! :) Then Jill, she just tells me what to pick up, I don't even get a chance to try to go to lighter weight. I guess you can call these girls my fantastic four. Between the four of these ladies I couldn't get away with anything less than 100% and I wouldn't change a single thing about it. 
I don't want the other BEB to think that I'm not great-full for them either because I truly am, each and every person at BE has influenced me to be better and to do greater. 


My Family - My family has watched me go from healthy, to unhealthy, to healthy, and back to unhealthy, yet no one has made me feel any less loved for it. But let me tell you, the moment I started losing weight, they were the first to notice (Minus Nicholas) and the biggest cheerleaders (Minus Nicholas) of my progress. Even when I went home and felt super fat, they were all "you look so great". My family keeps me grounded and I would not be who I am today without each and every one of them in my life. My favorite part of it all is that they will all be there on our wedding day to see the results of all of my hard work. 




I hope that each and every one of you know how much I value our relationship, whatever type it may be. Without you in my life I don't know that I'd still be on the path that I am on. Yea sure, I did this, it's my hard work and commitment to myself but honestly, we all know that I'd be eating candy and sleeping in if I didn't have everyone to keep me in check. Please do not stop keeping me in check. I could not do any of this without each of you and hope that one day I can repay you for helping me get my health back. Oh and a slammin body as well. 

You Get Better

This is true. Truer than it's ever been. This week has been extremely challenging for me. Work has been insane, completely stressful and crazy, its awesome but draining. On top of that last weekend I got a horrible cold, couldn't shake it all week and now I've got bronchitis. So on Monday I did not workout because I was sick. Tuesday I did not workout because I was sick. I went to bootcamp on Wednesday. Started out with a nice and cold mile run, I'm pretty sure I ran it in like 10+ minutes, not my best showing. Luckily we did the remainder of the workout inside and luckily is a very loose term. It was leg day, which is tough to begin with, but Mary is trying this new method, which is great minus it's toughness. We did a rotation of cardio legs and stationary legs. I slept in on Thursday instead of working out. I wasn't too sore either, mostly because I didn't push myself because I was still sick and finally decided to go see a doctor. I did go to bootcamp this morning and I can tell that my body still needs to rest. Just about any running killed me and most of my strength was just missing. 
So I made the executive decision to take the remainder of the weekend off from working out. Tonight I did some laundry, cleaned the bathroom, and am now resting for the evening and planning on a bedtime here shortly. I plan on cleaning the entire house tomorrow and then Sunday just finishing up laundry if anything. My hope is feel healthy come Monday morning so I can get back to life. I can't wait for it to be warm again though. I've decided that I'm going walk my dogs in the mornings on Tuesday and Thursday instead of going to the gym, I'll still make sure I am doing incline walks on the treadmill at least once a week. 
I'm also pretty proud of my will power this week. I am really trying to remember how bad I felt about myself when we got back from Michigan. I mean I put on a good chunk of weight in the month of December and I just let it happen, I didn't even really fight back, it was awful. I never want to feel like that again. This is the promise I'm completely okay with making with myself. 

Happy Weekend. 

I Hate Vacation

Okay, so I don't really hate vacation but I hate what happens when you go on vacation. Well it might not happen to everyone but it happens to me... I get lazy! Like not just a little bit lazy, but a LOT lazy. We started vacation on Christmas Eve and finished shortly after New Years, this is far too long of a vacation. I went for a run the first day we were home, it was not that awesome and that was the end of that. Pathetic is right! 
I'm sure you're thinking, oh well that's not that bad, well you're wrong. It was that bad. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. It's like once I break on something, the whole freaking damn breaks. 
Well I've been home for almost 2 weeks now and I've only made it through 3 of the 7 bootcamps that have been available for me. The first day back was the day after we got back from Michigan, so that was understandable. That Friday, I was sick, yay traveling, so I did not make it to that boot camp. I did make it to every boot camp last week and worked out on Thursday as well, with intentions of working out on Saturday as well. Then Friday showed her ugly mug, not all Friday's are ugly but this particular one was, she brought on the crud. By 3pm on Friday I knew that it was already too late, there was nothing left to do but wait for it. That night I had some rough sleep, with a fever capping 100. So I resigned to the couch and my bed for the weekend, vying to rest enough to be back to normal on Monday and I was right on course too. Sunday night I picked out my outfit, packed up my gym bag, picked out my workout outfit, and had everything in the bathroom, just waiting for the 4:30am alarm clock. Well around 1am my internal stomach alarm clock woke me up and kept me up for some time. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep about 20 minutes before the actual alarm clock went off. Now I'm hardcore, but I'm just barely getting better so today I deferred to better judgement and stayed home to sleep. 
So here we are, it is today, the last day of lazy. And tomorrow is the first day to reaching my goals. 
Goals you ask? Why yes, I have goals, they are as follows... 

1. Get down to my goal weight (135) by the end of March 
2. Workout 5 days a week
3. Get my 1.5 mile time down to 12:00 by the end of March
4. Have clearly defined calf muscles & triceps
5. Pass the Air Force Physical Fitness Test (I just want to know I can do it, I don't want to join)
6. No back bulge in my wedding dress

How am I going to do this you ask? By not being EASY!
It's time to start taking responsibility for my actions and working harder. One day at a time. 


Tomorrow's Plan of Attack
-Breakfast, Eggs over easy and coffee
-Snack, Fruit & Maple Oatmeal
-Lunch, Salad 
-Dinner, Pork Chops
-Snack if needed, SF Jello


I am hoping to update this daily or at least every other day.

Don't Be Easy

Today is more of a rant than anything, so if you're looking for inspiration, this may or may not be for you. This is your warning. :)


There is no short cut to losing weight. Losing weight takes determination, will power, and sacrifice. You don't get to will yourself skinny. You don't get to take a short cut to be skinny. Yes, there are fad diets, there are pills you can take, surgeries, injections, and any other sort of "get rich quick" types of 'cheat' methods, but these DON'T WORK. Yes, for the short time they will work and you'll get some sort of satisfaction from being "skinny" but it will not last. But yet there are still times where I think oh I'm doing so good, I can cheat today and I'll be okay. IT DOES NOT WORK LIKE THIS. 
You want to know what does work... Making decisions and sticking to them. No it's not that much fun to say "no" to a piece of birthday cake, or that cookie, or ice cream, or that snickers because you're hungry and it satisfies you. Sure it's easier to go out to lunch every day. It's easy to get fast food on your way home instead of cooking. It's easy to just shop for packaged dinners, lunches, and breakfasts. It's easy to just "go with the flow". But nothing worth having is easy. Nothing. Think about it... Sure falling in love is easy, but staying in love takes work, but the work is 100% worth it. You don't get to make exceptions. When you start doing this, you'll find a reason to make an exception for EVERYTHING. Trust me, it's what I've been doing the past 4 weeks. 
Luckily I only have Thanksgiving, a wedding, and Christmas between now and the end of the year. I can justify eating a healthy but large Thanksgiving dinner. I can justify celebrating slightly for a friends wedding. I can justify eating slightly different than usual over Christmas. I understand that sometimes it's nearly impossible to do things properly because you're just not in your element. There is no shame in that because you're allowed to have a life. Just be SMART. You are in control of how your body looks and what you put into it. On Thanksgiving I plan on having a healthy breakfast and lunch, then having a nice semi-indulgent dinner with my fiance. The next morning I also plan on going power shopping and eating super healthy all day because I indulged the night before. And the week leading up to Thanksgiving I'm going to say "no" to all the home cooked goodies and pot-lucks because it's one thing to indulge once in awhile, it's another to indulge all week because it's a holiday. For the wedding I'm planning on doing the same thing as Thanksgiving. I am only human and I do have a life to live but I can control what I allow myself to "falter" on. 
As for Christmas break, that is going to be hit and miss. We're driving 14 hours to Michigan and eating well + traveling in a car makes for tougher eating choices. I'm going to pack a cooler or something so we can just eat the things we pack instead of stopping in drive through's the entire trip, which will also save us money. As far as the week we're home goes, we have 7 wedding meetings, one is food tasting, the other is cake tasting, so needless to say the days we have that I will be eating super healthy. Which is really hard at my mother-in-law's because she always has sweets around the house. Luckily we'll be able to workout while we're home and be conscious of what we are eating most of the week. Then I'll just have to repack for the trip home and I will have made it through the year without being super destructive!  I hope by this point I will be able to report that I am weighing in at a nice 135. 


And back around to my original rant. Saying you're going to start eating healthy and working out is easy sure, but actually working out and controlling myself, that's the hard part. I wake up at 4:30am 3 times a week and 5am 2 times a week, there is nothing about the wake up time that is easy. There is nothing fun about waking up before half of the world does but I do it because it is the only time I can consistently workout and I have no excuse not to get up. I'm so sick of people whining about being overweight, or that they can't control themselves, or that they just 'can't' do it. Seriously, you CAN do it. Stop being an asshole. Stop buying bags of candy to eat by yourself. Stop drinking copious amounts of booze. Stop picking up fast food because you're too much of a lazy ass to make something for dinner or lunch. Stop eating crap for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If you want to change it starts with YOU and you HAVE to make time to do that. 
Plan your meals and stick to the plan. Yes it's a pain in the ass, deal with it. Make your lunch every day and pack more than you think you need because some days you might be more hungry than others. Find ways to make it work. Because if you don't care, I don't care. But if you piss and moan, you better start making some changes. It all comes down to self responsibility. Surround yourself with supportive people. You need to know who is on your side and who will bring you down. Make better choices and quit your bitching because I no longer have a tolerance for people who piss and moan about shit and don't do anything to change it. If you want to change, do it. If you want to bitch, find somewhere else to whine. 


-No I am not perfect. I fail and fail but I am constantly striving to be better. I am working out 5 days a week and working on my eating habits. I am a work in progress. But I am trying and I am working hard. All of these bad habits are things I have done or have been doing to myself, I know what it's like to be lazy, sad, fat... etc. I'm just sick of people not taking responsibility for themselves.-